constellates | ic inbox.

I don't know. I mean... I remembered being able to do weird gravity shit before it happened to me for real, you know? So this stuff we remember, it's gotta be real on some level. It wasn't just something my brain made up after I got stuck on the ceiling.

[he starts to speak again, but pauses, trying to shove his thoughts into order properly before he continues on.]

If it turns out I was good at it then, and if I end up being good at it again... it'd be stupid not to use it.

[ . . . it's difficult for her to wrap her head around.

The words he's using are simple, but the concept is still bizarre. Her beloved uncle as a criminal? That includes... stealing? And? What else...?]

"Good at it"....

Good at - определенный? What exactly?

Not getting caught, mostly.

[that comes with a brief huff of a laugh, a shake of his head.]

I haven't even heard of a mafia or anything like that here, if I tried to just up and do it on my own right now I'd be screwed. I don't know anything except that it's what I was, you know? I wouldn't know the first thing about actually doing the job.

[what little he does remember isn't too helpful for that. fighting is something he already knows.]

[ . . . . hm. Anya blinks at that, tilting her head. "Not getting caught" - committing crimes? And doing bad things? But then she tries to reconcile that idea with what she knows of her uncle.]

I do not know if there is "mafia" here.

But it is... Опасный? Danger...? Full of risk, yes? That is... scary to imagine Occhan doing that.

Do you know what 'high risk, high reward' means?

[One brow quirks, and he pauses long enough to take another drink, long enough for her to consider the phrase for a moment before he continues.]

If things are dangerous they're more profitable, too, usually. And like I said-- I won't do anything if I don't know what I'm doing. Your occhan can handle himself just fine, Anya, don't worry about me getting in over my head.

[except that he will probably do exactly that, so....]

And I still want to know more, either way.

[There's a furrowing of her brows even as she tries to understand. She tries very, very hard. Crime itself probably isn't that bad - it sounds like Yato did similar things before that he just won't tell her about - and she would rather that Chuuya be honest with her but.]

Occhan....

You have made up your mind?

Maybe? I can't say for sure, kiddo. It's a lot of "if"s.

[he ruffles her hair a bit, hoping to ease that furrow in her brow at least a little, even with what he's saying.]

I don't know yet if it's gonna be worth trying, but if it is... yeah, probably. I'm going to try to figure out more about the stuff I've remembered happening so far, the problem's just that-- I don't know what else I'm gonna figure out about myself.

[did he kill people? Chuuya definitely wanted to kill at least one person, still remembers how badly he wanted revenge, how much he hated him-- he feels like he was prepared to do it, too, so maybe he did have experience.

it's something he doesn't want to think about too much until he's confronted with it.]

That's... why I wanted to ask if you'd still be okay with me.

[The hair ruffle is familiar - everything about Chuuya is familiar. It's just... what he's talking about that isn't.

So there's a moment where she can't help but frown as she glances down at the space between them. It's hard to make eye contact. It's hard to promise that everything will stay the same when it.... it won't. Considering that she tries her hardest to always do good by others, it's hard to agree to the idea of being a criminal.

But even more than that - ]

I feel... беспокойство. It is scary.... I am scared. But not... of you?

[A shake of her head and she does raise her eyes to meet his then.]

For you... I think. Even for "high reward"... is the right now so bad that you want to still want to try?

There is no way I can help?

...it's not that the right now is bad, Anya. I'm not unhappy. I just...

[His hand slips from her hair, resting on her shoulder now as he hesitates once more.]

There's more to this, and I need to know what it is. Like how you want to try to push yourself now. You know how you told me you wanted to chase that excited feeling you got, from your dream?

This is what I need to chase.

[ . . . . this is what he wants to chase.

It makes sense to her, when he says it like that. It makes her pause, even as she still holds her concerns. What if he gets hurt? What if something happens to him? But - maybe it's like Anya's own fear of failure. You can't let herself be held back by the things that might happen, and let them keep you from becoming who you want to be.

Or discovering the answers you seek, in Chuuya's case.

So she pauses before reaching and taking his hand from her shoulder and holding it in both of hers even as she nods once.]

... Mm. Okay.

[Chuuya should be able to chase whatever he wants.

Even if it might take him away from her.

Still, she offers him a small smile and it might be a little selfish but - ]

The расстояние.... ["Distance" - the same word that she'd used before, but.] Maybe... do not leave Anya too far behind when you chase?

I won't, Anya. Promise.

[It's not entirely true, but he can't be completely honest with her, not with this. It's better to tell her what she wants to hear, right?

He can't be sure he'll keep her close when he's starting to consider something like this, because she's not wrong about the potential danger, or about anything else that's concerned her. She can't get too close to it, or else he'll worry about her getting hurt-- and he won't want to do it, he knows, but if leaving Anya behind keeps her safe there's only going to be one option to take.]

I'll still be here for you, no matter what.

Promise.... Обещание....

[She turns the words around in her head, commits them to memory. Her hand falls over her heart as she wants to make sure that she doesn't lose track of this moment. Even when Chuuya wanders into danger, even when he can possibly end up getting hurt, even when she doesn't know where to find him...

He'll still be here for her.

He promised.

Her shoulders visibly relax and she nods, accepting it with full faith.

It doesn't occur to her for even a moment that he could be lying. This is something too important to lie about, after all.]

Mm... Okay. Then... everything will be okay, as long that is true. Anya will always be here for Occhan too.

ic inbox.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject