ic inbox.

[constellates]

ANASTASIA

Hello. Call me Anya. (･ω´-ゞ)^☆

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Comments

[truedetective]

I trusted her as much as I trust anyone. I don't tell anyone about that secret unless I have to. The more people who know, the less secret it is. It wasn't just her I was keeping it from.

[constellates]

did you not notice how she felt ?

[truedetective]

No. Not until too late. The moment I realized, I told her. I didn't think it was fair to keep it from her.

[constellates]

it would not be
it is good you told her

i know it is hard
to know what others are thinking
it is not possible always

but someone told me
you should not imply things that make them think of other things ?
i am not sure how to explain

but if you do not trust people
it will hurt them to find that ?

but i do not know enough about naoto's problem
to say if that is what happened

[truedetective]

It isn't that I don't trust people. I just don't want to tell people this secret if we're not close. Is that so wrong? To not want to immediately proclaim my gender from the rooftops the moment I meet someone new? To want to know how I can trust them first? I don't think that's unreasonable.

[constellates]

i do not understand

you say now
" it is not i do not trust people "
but also
you said earlier
" i do not trust people until i have to "

????
naoto if you do not trust
that is okay
but it will hurt people
who think you do

[truedetective]

It's not that [It sort of is.] It's just that... I can trust people in some ways and not others. My fellow officers at the precinct, I would trust to help me if I were in trouble. I trust people with critical things all the time. It's just this one thing. I'm not lying about anything else. I'm still the same person. It shouldn't matter. [Who is she trying to convince?]

[constellates]

okay
you can have one thing
you can have two things
all the things if you want

but if you hide
and people find out
they will be hurt
someone told me that too

you cannot help that
you cannot change how people feel too
only how you feel
and what you do
how you treat people

[truedetective]

I just



I dont know


I dont see why it should matter
does it matter if people think Im a boy

arent I still me?

[constellates]

yes
you are always you
you are always naoto
trying to do your best to be good at what you do

that is not what is different
that is not why people are unhappy

you know that
yes ?

people cannot have important talks with you
if you are not talking about the same thing
people being unhappy about trust
is not the same thing
as being unhappy you are a girl
that is not what it is about

[truedetective]

I know I just Anya I don't get it Why can't I trust someone in every aspect of my life but this one Why can't it just stay a secret It doesn't make sense and it's frustrating [There's a bit of a pause.] thank you for listening to me

[constellates]

did you not understand anya ?
are my words not right ?

it can stay a secret
but you cannot be mad
if someone is mad at finding out the secret
other people have feelings too

i will always listen
i hope naoto feels better ?

[truedetective]

They are. You're making, logically, a perfectly sound argument. I just don't know if I'm in the right space emotionally to accept it. I'm sorry.

[constellates]

that is okay
you do not need to say sorry for how you feel

but you should talk to this person
soon
it would not be nice to lose a friend

[truedetective]

I wouldn't like that very much either. I'm just not very good at expressing my emotions. I think I'll have to try, though.

[constellates]

it is hard if sometimes the words do not want to come out but
there are some things that have to be said
i think

[truedetective]

I suppose. Even if they're hard. Thank you, Anya. I very much appreciate your input. Even if I've been... grouchy.