[ binch stop running ]

[constellates]

Comments

[soba]

It sounds pretty important to me.

[ an idol gives hope, and all of that. ]

[constellates]

[ . . . ]

И то и другое. Both things are important.

Anya looking for new dream.

Toi not having to lose friends.

[she squares her shoulders a little]

Both can happen.

[soba]

[ he gives her a stern look, questioningly, like he's trying to find something in her face that might show she's lying. ]

What happens if we can't be friends once this is over? You're really okay with that?

[constellates]

... Нет. No. I will miss you.

[she wonders if that's too direct, and she definitely isn't lying, but - ]

I miss everyone who leaves. It does not change. To lose is hard. I... maybe not the same, but I can see why you think is easier.

[her life doesn't demand in the same way that she leaves people behind for their own safety - but she has had to say goodbye]

Попытаться. But I do not like idea of not trying. I want to know you, more than I want to be scared.

[soba]

... stupid.

[ her insistence that everything can still work out, as long as they try, reminds him of kazuki again.

it's a painful reminder. ]

Fine.

[constellates]

[ . . . she takes a little bit to react - like she's a little surprised.]

Fine? Toi said 'fine'?

[though it's probably a little embarrassing how excited she sounds, even if she almost sounds hesitant to be so happy about it. but regardless

she holds out her hand to him]

Друзья? Friends?

[soba]

[ like he said, he's tired.

and they've been arguing about this for so long, that... honestly, they still end up spending time together. it's not helping him to keep having this back and forth.

he stares at her hand before slowly, slowly, reaching out to shake it. ]

Mm.

[1/2]

[constellates]

[wow.

they don't need to be connected by red strung for him to realize how happy that makes her, expression warming and turning to something excited as she holds onto his hand eagerly even as they shake - ]

Спасибо! Thank you!

[constellates]

[And that's when a memory plays -

It's an average school day and Papa drives you to the campus, and there is already a guilty feeling in your heart. You know that he's been doing this because you've been getting quieter, and quieter. His words from the night before ring in your head, "Where's my shining Anya?" And you smiled for him - but you couldn't tell him that you didn't know where she was, or if there was anything of her left.

The car stops in front of the campus and his hand comes to your head, warm and kind, and he says, "Have a good day, Anya" in perfect Russian. You respond to him in kind, easily and immediate, "Have a good day, Papa!" You know this will be the last good part of your day, with someone who loves you.

When you walk into the school, the air is different. No one talks to you - they only talk about you. They look in your direction and whisper, but you can't understand everything the say. It is too soft, too fast, too much for your ears to know when you are still learning. But you hear the pieces that they mean for you to hear: That girl. Cold. Don't. Speak. Weird.

You sit at your desk and no one comes up to you. You bring out your notebook that maps the stars, but something catches your attention that someone says - Meteor shower. - and you turn, you want to speak, you want to share something that you love with anyone, anyone at all.

But even as you open your mouth, the other students see they've caught your attention, and you remember the past. When you tried to speak, and either no one understood or worse, when they made mocked what you had to say in the way that you said it.

So you turn back in your seat, mouth clamped shut, and you hear them murmur: She. Talk. To us? How creepy.

And something in your chest aches, but it doesn't show on your face - you can't let it show on your face, or the words they'll have for you will only be worse. So you hold both the loneliness and the ache in your chest, every feeling you want to express trapped in your heart when no one wants to listen, and you don't have the words to connect.

And it's not Toi's fault, how the memory surprises Anya, prompting her to almost immediately pull her hand away.]

[soba]

[ he knew that she was lonely. he learned that last week, because of the effect, but he didn't pry or anything, instead pretending that he didn't notice anything.

but this... fills in the answers to the questions he didn't ask.

toi blinks, staring at her. ]

... huh.

[constellates]

[ - ah.

the stare manages to make her shrink a little, looking away, as if ashamed of the memory like she did something bad]

... Извините. Sorry. To share.

[soba]

[ ... ]

You literally just saw me kill people, and you're apologizing for people being assholes?

[constellates]

[he has a point and she recognizes it, but she also did apologize to him for when he hit her with a chair]

... Жалость. Do not like to make people feel bad for me.

[soba]

Then I won't feel bad for you.

[ problem solved ]

[constellates]

[ . . . She seems surprised, but also weirdly down for this compromise]

Oбещание? Promise?

[soba]

Yeah, yeah. Promise. You won't have to deal with me pitying you or anything, Anya.

[constellates]

[she considers that for a moment - before it makes her smile and she extends her uninjured hand, pinky out. time for a left-handed pinky promise]

Okay. No pity for both of us.

[soba]

[ i fucking hate you

but he looks down at her extended hand for a moment, before slowly curling his pinky around hers. ]

Deal.

[constellates]

[what could i have done

but she pretty much visibly brightens at that again, hooking their pinkies together with a smile]

Good deal. Оптимистичный. Even if things are bad... will try to find good, or way to move forward.

[that's what hope is, right?]

[soba]

... well, we'll see.

[ he said he would be her friend, not like

any of that other stuff. wow. ]

[constellates]

I will hope.

[easily - ]

You have to go home, yes? Семья. Your brother...

[soba]

... yeah.

I need to go back to him.

[constellates]

He is waiting for you.

[she's sure of that much, and so - ]

... I want to see Mama and Papa again too. Побег. So we will find way out.... that is not their rule.

[aka she hates this week's motive]

[soba]

[ he just steps over that first thing she says ]

You wouldn't kill to get out of here?

[constellates]

[she shakes her head at that]

.... I know others might.

But... everyone here has someone who cares for them. So I cannot.