constellates | ic inbox.

afterparty ?
ok !
what will be happening ?
eating ? singing ? dancing ?

Eating, definitely.
Maybe singing?
I bet you could get Sawamura to dance.

if i get eijun to dance
koushu will need to dance with me too
and then you will dance together

I don't dance. [ ok hsm much ]
But if I did, why would I dance with him.

odd question
do you want real answer ?

[ ... ]
What is it.

[ Are you a masochist, Koushuu. ]

why would you not want to dance with him
dancing is fun
more fun in pairs
that is what anya thinks
and koushuu always likes eijun more than he says
or shows
it is cute
but if you dance
you do not need words ?
maybe it will be easier

[ If he could rewind this entire conversation, do it over again, he would. But he can't, so instead Koushuu takes a while before he replies, phone resting on his face.

Damnit, Anya. ]

I don't need words for something that's not happening, Anya.

[ He's not talking about the dancing, but if she thinks he does then he won't complain. ]

what is not happening
i think a lot is happening

[like

dancing

prom asking

y'know]

Nothing is happening and it's going to stay that way.

[ Boy just wait until the promposal. ]

i do not understand why ?
an odd thing to be stubborn over

[ A very, very long delay for this short of a text. But it takes a lot for him to concede just this much, even if it's to Anya. ]

It's complicated.
For me.

[ . . . hm. that's tough. anya's response takes a little longer just because she's searching for the words she wants to use]

ok
you do not have to explain to anya if you do not want
but i think that koushuu should always chase after the things that make him happy
because koushuu is good at making other people happy
like you always make me happy
and you deserve the best always

[ While he doesn't visibly appear to care that much for his friends, at least to outsiders and those that don't quite get how he works, Koushuu does. He cares a lot. So hearing from Anya herself that he makes her happy eases the way he's wound up defensive and on edge. ]

Thank you.
And you make me happy too.
So don't worry, ok. I'm chasing what makes me happy still.
Just make sure you do the same.

!! i am
i promise
now that koushuu is on retrospec i can say more truth now
it was because of a hallucinomemory that anya is trying harder at everything now
because i want to do what makes my heart go doki doki
i hope koushuu is doing the same

Pretty sure that's a life philosophy.
If it makes your "heart go doki doki," then it's probably worth doing.
I came to school here because that's what I wanted to try and do.
So we'll just both have to try really hard.

yes !! we will do our best
is it baseball for koushuu ?
then anya will try even harder to go to every game

[ . . . ]

It is, sort of.
I decided on Recollé to see if I could have fun playing baseball again.

??
why did you stop having fun ?

[ What is it about Anya, shit. ]

[ The short version, because he can't lie to her. ]

My coach in middle school.
Before we moved outside of Recollé, I mean.
Turned out he didn't care about us, just results.

!!
that is not good
he does not seem like a nice person
it would be hard to have fun if you were not happy

koushuu is happier here
right ?

No, he was not a nice person.
He transferred to our rival team after I found out.
We got the chance to show him we were fine without him, at least, but it still happened.

[ . . . ]

I am.
Happier here.

i am sorry that it happened
koushuu is so good at baseball
i cannot imagine you not playing

good !
if that ever changes you will let anya know ?
because i want to help make a place where koushuu is happiest

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