[ - but that's not a dance hall or a studio or anything of the sort. Anya blinks once, twice, and it takes a moment for her to even respond as she realizes that they're back at the ice rink. Her hand in his tenses just a little bit.]
[Oops - she gives him a sheepish smile automatically.]
Ah...
[she didn't mean to derail his plans. there's a shake of her head and - it's not that she doesn't like ice skating. far from it, actually. but it's just that the memories are still a bit...
muddled.]
Нет... No, we can go, if that is what you want...
[though as they enter, she'll end up making eye contact with one of the workers and waving in a friendly, familiar way. simple to say that she's not exactly a stranger to this place.]
[ ah, she's a familiar face to them... there goes his hopes of showing off a little to her, he guesses. it isn't like his practicing went that well anyway.
tsukasa gives them a polite smile, hand leaving anya's so he can conduct Business. and once they have their skates-- ]
You're on pretty good terms with the people here, huh?
[mmmMMMM YUP. sh hums softly when he asks, lacing up her skates familiarly too. she didn't spend a lot of time on the ice comparatively, but she does know what she's doing more than a beginner.]
Ah... Yuratchka used to work here.
[and aS MUCH AS SHE'D LIKE TO HIDE IT, there's no hiding the way that her voice gets a bit softer. fonder.]
Рабочий... He was a worker? So I would visit when we did not have dance practice. [and she gives tsukasa a sheepish smile] I do not know if Tsukasa knew him?
[ . . . despite everything, she ends up giggling - ]
... Not very!
[THAT YURI PLISETSKY, YOU KNOW.]
Ah... on the inside, very much. Замечательно... He is very wonderful, very warm. But to other people he did not know very well... [she shakes her head] He did not need very many friends, he said.
Maybe it is better that you and Yuratchka did not meet when he was in the city. I would have to tell him to be nicer....
he's happy-- and then he's mad at himself. anya's obviously fond of him, obviously was friends (maybe more), and it must suck for him not to be around anymore. it must really, really suck, and he shouldn't feel so happy about that?
he shouldn't. it's a moment before he speaks, but she's getting treated to a small grin and a confident tone. ]
I dealt with Sena-senpai during the live pretty well... I think I'd be able to handle a little attitude. [ he thinks. maybe. he fidgets with his laces a bit, tightening them more and more. thinking.
...does he want to know? ] Were you two close?
[ he doesn't want to know, but here he is. asking anyway. ]
[ . . . the idea of Yuri and Sena having an extended conversation will haunt Anya's nightmares. Instead, she waits for him to finish up lacing his skates as her own are done and at the question she nods happily. Though she might also start idly stretching just because that's what's familiar to her....]
Да! I love Yuratchka. [IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR, TSUKASA.]
We danced at that same studio, went to school together - he is part of why I sing and dance now. [She lets one hand fall over her heart, feeling the way that it picks up speed ever so slightly even as she thinks of him - and she can't help but blush, laughing at herself.] For a little bit, he is why I got to feel... doki doki?
[and then she shakes her head, finding her own words to be silly]
tsukasa feels his heart drop in his chest, then slowly restart. that's... of course, really. sena said it wouldn't be easy, right? he'd have competition. it's only natural that competition might even be an ex of some kind, especially if they didn't part on bad terms... which it doesn't seem like they have at all.
he told him he still wanted to try though. he still wants anya to consider him before she considers anyone else.
...but that was before, and he straightens up when he's sure he's got his face under control. ]
They can, can't they... I have some people I get that way around too, though one of them's because he's embarrassingly straightforward with his words. [ a weak laugh, please save him from his best friend. ] I'm glad he inspired you so much--you're a very beautiful singer, and a very wonderful dancer.
[ he clasps his hands behind his back briefly, just to stretch a bit, before he offers her one. ]
I think it's normal, though. Everyone feels a little doki-doki around the people they like, right? And it's not like those feelings just disappear as soon as they leave either.
[if she ever realizes how he understood her words, she'd feel awful.
instead, she just listens to him dutifully, placing her hand in his and giving his a squeeze. there's a knowing smile as if she's in on some kind of secret - ] Tsukasa has a crush on someone, yes? Then you know the doki doki feeling too.
[but then she'll move to go out onto the ice, stepping on with a fair amount of confidence and holding onto his hand even as she looks back at him. her eyes sparkle in delight as she loves to talk about love but - ]
Yuratchka is my friend before he is someone who gave me those feelings. We were not together for very long... [even if she's the type to still hold onto those feelings. rather - ] Милая. I think it is a sweet thing to feel at all.
I hope that Tsukasa gets to know that feeling soon too, even if it is scary... Did you tell the person you like yet?
...Not yet. [ he steps onto the ice after her, glancing down at his feet briefly; he's okay at skating, but he still gets a little nervous. ] I... want to wait for the right moment, I think.
[ which isn't now, and it won't be next month. a little more, a little longer, so he doesn't feel so silly about love at first sight. infatuation. ]
I'm not really sure how I want to do it too... Poems can be kind of tricky, but they're romantic? Saying it straight out would probably do the trick, but I don't think I'd have the courage for that. [ ... ] Or the shamelessness, or the charisma. Um, knowing me, I'd just mess up somehow and get the wrong message across or something...
[ ahaha, well. ]
I'll figure it out. [ a little shrug. ] Winging it isn't really an option after all.
[ . . . hold on, she'll listen to him but also reach out one hand to just touch lightly at his chin to lift his gaze back up to her. She gives him a smile even as she takes her hand back as quickly as it came - ] До... Balance is easier if you look up, I think.
[just saying.
but then she'll actually just move to skate slowly slowly, still holding onto his hand.]
Do you think...
[She seems to take a moment to consider her words before offering, hopefully helpfully - ]
I think Tsukasa is all of those things. Having courage. A little shameless. A lot of charisma. And if you could say what is really in your heart, then you are perfect the way you are.
Также. I hope that you will believe that soon too.
[ ...he opens his mouth, thinks about it, and closes it again, following her lead thoughtfully. He really doesn't consider himself courageous at all, or shameless, or charismatic; he's not like the person in his memories, who can so boldly talk to a girl he seems to like, or tease her, or stand up to people. Tsukasa purses his lips, brow furrowed, before he shakes his head.
It's fine, he guesses. ]
I've surrounded myself with such flatterers. [ He has friends who say the exact same thing. Everyone's cute. ] Thank you, Anya... Maybe I'll believe it some day. Probably when I feel like I've actually become the person everyone seems to think I am.
[ Because he really doesn't feel deserving of those nice words, no matter how many times he's told it. He's ordinary, after all. He's a loser, after all. ]
I'm working hard to that end though~. The other me, um... Suou, he was kind of like that, I feel. Well, he was really resolute, at least. [ eheh. ] It got him in trouble though... His group was under threat of disbandment because of his smart mouth.
I think so. I mean, he wanted to join that unit for a while, it seems... He was really excited to be part of it in one of my memories. [ Knights, that wonderful unit that Sena keeps telling him they're in together. Tsukasa tilts his head as they skate, thoughtful. ] But in another, he was really angry at its leader... and he was scared that they really would be disbanded, just because he'd gotten mad.
[ A little laugh. ]
He said— I remember this really clearly— he said that he wouldn't be able to face his ancestors, or any of his unitmates, if that happened... if they lost because of him. His senpai told him not to worry about it though, because it wasn't his fault, and that they'd win like they always do... because that's just what they did.
[ ... ]
It was really cool sounding, actually. ♪ I wasn't expecting that kind of thing out of that senpai, but I guess he's had some cool moments aside from that too.
I don't know if we did, actually, and—yes, he is, it's Sena.
[ ...Which is kind of an issue, because it's not like they really like each other. On the other hand... Urrgh. ]
I have another one here too, apparently... I've met him and I'm still not impressed. [ He's not actually that impressed with either of them, though Sena's probably. slightly higher. ] Well, he said we were part of the same unit, and my memories are inclined to agree... It's frustrating. I wish I had nicer senpai—I wonder if that's something the other me thinks, too.
[ Food for thought. He tilts his head towards her, blinking slowly. ]
Do you have any? Senpai, I mean. Either here or in your memories.
Anya blinks. Right. Sena. It takes a second longer for her smile to reach her eyes but it does - eventually.]
Sena... is? Mm... was...? A modeling senpai for Anya too. He is not nice to you...?
[It sounds familiar.
She doesn't say that out loud. Her hand in his tenses just a little bit, holding on just a little bit tighter - it's... complicated. Very complicated.]
[ Tsukasa falters, trying to sort through his complicated feelings—because that's what they are, between his memories and his memories. Mizuki Sena isn't someone he'd normally go out of his way to interact with, probably.
Or maybe it's more like, normally, he's not the kind of person he'd be able to interact with. In a way, neither is Anya, though. He was just lucky—it was just chance—so much has been up to fate. He responds to the tenseness of her hand with a squeeze, looking up at the ceiling instead of at her. ]
Sena-senpai [ because saying that feels right—better, even, even though technically he isn't his senpai anymore, with the live over, even if he's that in his memories ] is difficult, I guess. I don't think he likes me very much, but he's taken advice and stuff from me... and he's given me peptalks about some stuff, too. He calls me by a nickname, both here and in my memories... I feel like in those, I'm also frustrated, but I admire him, too.
[ ... ]
There's a memory I have of when I first went to join that unit. [ Softer, closing his eyes to see it better. ] I didn't have eyes for anyone but Sena-senpai—I even ignored someone who I called "oniisama," who seemed amused that I hadn't even noticed him, because Sena-senpai was the leader of that unit then. I was really excited about mastering what he told me to so he'd have to let me join, and I was very happy when he treated me like I was a kouhai instead of some sort of noble... I guess. I think that's why. The other me's very well-off, so I bet he has a lot of people who treat him differently...
[ He trails off, lips pursing, and shakes his head before he finally turns back to her. ]
It's not that... He isn't nice, not really, but it's like... [ ...Urgh. ] He's not outright mean? Something like tough love, or something... Sena-senpai's rough around the edges, and honestly, it's really irritating? I never get this huffy about anyone though, I don't think it's right to. [ Because he's a polite boy who was raised with manners and a penchant for respecting those older than him. And to not be competitive. And to not take after his older sibling at all, essentially. ] It's just...
[ He squeezes her hand again, sighing. ]
Difficult. Please don't tell him that I'm truly thankful for what he's said to me, since I think he'd get a really big head if he knew that... I mean, I did thank him, but... [ A huff. ] He'd tease me for still thinking about all of that, since I'm sure it's no big deal to him at all.
[ Tsukasa pauses then, studying her, and tries to smile a little. ]
Sorry if I worried you. It's nothing compared to all the cheek-pulling I get from Hinata, or all the dragging around I get from Mafuyu—Sena-senpai has to compete with real bullies~. Though, they're my friends, so...
[That sounds familiar too. Anya listens, she listens and she listens and she listens - and it makes sense to her. She nods along, because she thinks that Sena is a nice person. Of course she does. He'd been kind to her and called her his kouhai and they'd had their siblings photo shoot so long ago—
Before he panicked on her.
Then their next meeting was in a hospital room after Yato was in a coma, after Chuuya had died, and Anya wasn't able to support Sena through his own experiences. She blinks through those memories as she listens and nods....]
He is... неуклюжим? Not always graceful with his words. Even if he means good things, I think.
[ . . . a nod.]
I am happy - if he is an idol in another life.
He hated them here.
[She nearly stops there.
... but Tsukasa had said - if Anya wants to talk about something, she can talk to him. Right? She needs to tell people things. That is what her closest friends have told her. She needs to... get better at that. So she manages a small smile even if it crumples a little weakly around the corners.]
He did not want me to be one... [ - but that sounds mean, doesn't it? She doesn't want to make anyone think that. So she winces and amends:] Um. But he did not... mean for it to hurt, so....
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Танцы? Are we going dancing again?
[they had a stumble last time that doesn't matter]
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Something like that. [ SOMETHING LIKE THAT it involves a lot of handholding maybe so ♪ ] Is that okay?
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Да! [she seems okay with it???] I would be happy to dance with you again.
[now isn't it a shame that they're finally approaching the ice skating rink]
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but there it is, tsukasa's smiling wider and walking a liiittle faster ]
I'm happy to hear that, Anya...~ We're here, though.
[ c: a small gesture to the rink ]
I'll pay for everything, so don't worry about that, okay?
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Ah—
We are... going ice skating?
[that's not dancing, tsukasa!!!!]
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he pauses at her tensing though, head tilting slightly and his smile slipping. ]
...That was the idea... [ um. ] If you don't want to, then we could do something else...?
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Ah...
[she didn't mean to derail his plans. there's a shake of her head and - it's not that she doesn't like ice skating. far from it, actually. but it's just that the memories are still a bit...
muddled.]
Нет... No, we can go, if that is what you want...
[though as they enter, she'll end up making eye contact with one of the workers and waving in a friendly, familiar way. simple to say that she's not exactly a stranger to this place.]
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tsukasa gives them a polite smile, hand leaving anya's so he can conduct Business. and once they have their skates-- ]
You're on pretty good terms with the people here, huh?
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Ah... Yuratchka used to work here.
[and aS MUCH AS SHE'D LIKE TO HIDE IT, there's no hiding the way that her voice gets a bit softer. fonder.]
Рабочий... He was a worker? So I would visit when we did not have dance practice. [and she gives tsukasa a sheepish smile] I do not know if Tsukasa knew him?
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I didn't. [ this is because of his own lack-of social skills, and he carefully laces his skates. ] Was he nice?
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... Not very!
[THAT YURI PLISETSKY, YOU KNOW.]
Ah... on the inside, very much. Замечательно... He is very wonderful, very warm. But to other people he did not know very well... [she shakes her head] He did not need very many friends, he said.
Maybe it is better that you and Yuratchka did not meet when he was in the city. I would have to tell him to be nicer....
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he's happy-- and then he's mad at himself. anya's obviously fond of him, obviously was friends (maybe more), and it must suck for him not to be around anymore. it must really, really suck, and he shouldn't feel so happy about that?
he shouldn't. it's a moment before he speaks, but she's getting treated to a small grin and a confident tone. ]
I dealt with Sena-senpai during the live pretty well... I think I'd be able to handle a little attitude. [ he thinks. maybe. he fidgets with his laces a bit, tightening them more and more. thinking.
...does he want to know? ] Were you two close?
[ he doesn't want to know, but here he is. asking anyway. ]
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Да! I love Yuratchka. [IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR, TSUKASA.]
We danced at that same studio, went to school together - he is part of why I sing and dance now. [She lets one hand fall over her heart, feeling the way that it picks up speed ever so slightly even as she thinks of him - and she can't help but blush, laughing at herself.] For a little bit, he is why I got to feel... doki doki?
[and then she shakes her head, finding her own words to be silly]
Mm. Смешение. Feelings can be so strange.
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not loved.
present tense.
tsukasa feels his heart drop in his chest, then slowly restart. that's... of course, really. sena said it wouldn't be easy, right? he'd have competition. it's only natural that competition might even be an ex of some kind, especially if they didn't part on bad terms... which it doesn't seem like they have at all.
he told him he still wanted to try though. he still wants anya to consider him before she considers anyone else.
...but that was before, and he straightens up when he's sure he's got his face under control. ]
They can, can't they... I have some people I get that way around too, though one of them's because he's embarrassingly straightforward with his words. [ a weak laugh, please save him from his best friend. ] I'm glad he inspired you so much--you're a very beautiful singer, and a very wonderful dancer.
[ he clasps his hands behind his back briefly, just to stretch a bit, before he offers her one. ]
I think it's normal, though. Everyone feels a little doki-doki around the people they like, right? And it's not like those feelings just disappear as soon as they leave either.
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instead, she just listens to him dutifully, placing her hand in his and giving his a squeeze. there's a knowing smile as if she's in on some kind of secret - ] Tsukasa has a crush on someone, yes? Then you know the doki doki feeling too.
[but then she'll move to go out onto the ice, stepping on with a fair amount of confidence and holding onto his hand even as she looks back at him. her eyes sparkle in delight as she loves to talk about love but - ]
Yuratchka is my friend before he is someone who gave me those feelings. We were not together for very long... [even if she's the type to still hold onto those feelings. rather - ] Милая. I think it is a sweet thing to feel at all.
I hope that Tsukasa gets to know that feeling soon too, even if it is scary... Did you tell the person you like yet?
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[ which isn't now, and it won't be next month. a little more, a little longer, so he doesn't feel so silly about love at first sight. infatuation. ]
I'm not really sure how I want to do it too... Poems can be kind of tricky, but they're romantic? Saying it straight out would probably do the trick, but I don't think I'd have the courage for that. [ ... ] Or the shamelessness, or the charisma. Um, knowing me, I'd just mess up somehow and get the wrong message across or something...
[ ahaha, well. ]
I'll figure it out. [ a little shrug. ] Winging it isn't really an option after all.
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[just saying.
but then she'll actually just move to skate slowly slowly, still holding onto his hand.]
Do you think...
[She seems to take a moment to consider her words before offering, hopefully helpfully - ]
I think Tsukasa is all of those things. Having courage. A little shameless. A lot of charisma. And if you could say what is really in your heart, then you are perfect the way you are.
Также. I hope that you will believe that soon too.
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It's fine, he guesses. ]
I've surrounded myself with such flatterers. [ He has friends who say the exact same thing. Everyone's cute. ] Thank you, Anya... Maybe I'll believe it some day. Probably when I feel like I've actually become the person everyone seems to think I am.
[ Because he really doesn't feel deserving of those nice words, no matter how many times he's told it. He's ordinary, after all. He's a loser, after all. ]
I'm working hard to that end though~. The other me, um... Suou, he was kind of like that, I feel. Well, he was really resolute, at least. [ eheh. ] It got him in trouble though... His group was under threat of disbandment because of his smart mouth.
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Oh! The other Tsukasa was a... Mmm... Xулиган? Troublemaker?
[Not that she sounds upset about it at all? Instead, she laughs happily even as they skate around, holding onto his hand and humming a pleased note.]
What did he make trouble for? Something important to him?
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I think so. I mean, he wanted to join that unit for a while, it seems... He was really excited to be part of it in one of my memories. [ Knights, that wonderful unit that Sena keeps telling him they're in together. Tsukasa tilts his head as they skate, thoughtful. ] But in another, he was really angry at its leader... and he was scared that they really would be disbanded, just because he'd gotten mad.
[ A little laugh. ]
He said— I remember this really clearly— he said that he wouldn't be able to face his ancestors, or any of his unitmates, if that happened... if they lost because of him. His senpai told him not to worry about it though, because it wasn't his fault, and that they'd win like they always do... because that's just what they did.
[ ... ]
It was really cool sounding, actually. ♪ I wasn't expecting that kind of thing out of that senpai, but I guess he's had some cool moments aside from that too.
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[She's just curious - she's got a lot of questions. It all sounds very dramatic and all but - ]
It sounds like a movie...
[at least she's entertained??]
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[ ...Which is kind of an issue, because it's not like they really like each other. On the other hand... Urrgh. ]
I have another one here too, apparently... I've met him and I'm still not impressed. [ He's not actually that impressed with either of them, though Sena's probably. slightly higher. ] Well, he said we were part of the same unit, and my memories are inclined to agree... It's frustrating. I wish I had nicer senpai—I wonder if that's something the other me thinks, too.
[ Food for thought. He tilts his head towards her, blinking slowly. ]
Do you have any? Senpai, I mean. Either here or in your memories.
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Anya blinks. Right. Sena. It takes a second longer for her smile to reach her eyes but it does - eventually.]
Sena... is? Mm... was...? A modeling senpai for Anya too. He is not nice to you...?
[It sounds familiar.
She doesn't say that out loud. Her hand in his tenses just a little bit, holding on just a little bit tighter - it's... complicated. Very complicated.]
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[ Tsukasa falters, trying to sort through his complicated feelings—because that's what they are, between his memories and his memories. Mizuki Sena isn't someone he'd normally go out of his way to interact with, probably.
Or maybe it's more like, normally, he's not the kind of person he'd be able to interact with. In a way, neither is Anya, though. He was just lucky—it was just chance—so much has been up to fate. He responds to the tenseness of her hand with a squeeze, looking up at the ceiling instead of at her. ]
Sena-senpai [ because saying that feels right—better, even, even though technically he isn't his senpai anymore, with the live over, even if he's that in his memories ] is difficult, I guess. I don't think he likes me very much, but he's taken advice and stuff from me... and he's given me peptalks about some stuff, too. He calls me by a nickname, both here and in my memories... I feel like in those, I'm also frustrated, but I admire him, too.
[ ... ]
There's a memory I have of when I first went to join that unit. [ Softer, closing his eyes to see it better. ] I didn't have eyes for anyone but Sena-senpai—I even ignored someone who I called "oniisama," who seemed amused that I hadn't even noticed him, because Sena-senpai was the leader of that unit then. I was really excited about mastering what he told me to so he'd have to let me join, and I was very happy when he treated me like I was a kouhai instead of some sort of noble... I guess. I think that's why. The other me's very well-off, so I bet he has a lot of people who treat him differently...
[ He trails off, lips pursing, and shakes his head before he finally turns back to her. ]
It's not that... He isn't nice, not really, but it's like... [ ...Urgh. ] He's not outright mean? Something like tough love, or something... Sena-senpai's rough around the edges, and honestly, it's really irritating? I never get this huffy about anyone though, I don't think it's right to. [ Because he's a polite boy who was raised with manners and a penchant for respecting those older than him. And to not be competitive. And to not take after his older sibling at all, essentially. ] It's just...
[ He squeezes her hand again, sighing. ]
Difficult. Please don't tell him that I'm truly thankful for what he's said to me, since I think he'd get a really big head if he knew that... I mean, I did thank him, but... [ A huff. ] He'd tease me for still thinking about all of that, since I'm sure it's no big deal to him at all.
[ Tsukasa pauses then, studying her, and tries to smile a little. ]
Sorry if I worried you. It's nothing compared to all the cheek-pulling I get from Hinata, or all the dragging around I get from Mafuyu—Sena-senpai has to compete with real bullies~. Though, they're my friends, so...
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Before he panicked on her.
Then their next meeting was in a hospital room after Yato was in a coma, after Chuuya had died, and Anya wasn't able to support Sena through his own experiences. She blinks through those memories as she listens and nods....]
He is... неуклюжим? Not always graceful with his words. Even if he means good things, I think.
[ . . . a nod.]
I am happy - if he is an idol in another life.
He hated them here.
[She nearly stops there.
... but Tsukasa had said - if Anya wants to talk about something, she can talk to him. Right? She needs to tell people things. That is what her closest friends have told her. She needs to... get better at that. So she manages a small smile even if it crumples a little weakly around the corners.]
He did not want me to be one... [ - but that sounds mean, doesn't it? She doesn't want to make anyone think that. So she winces and amends:] Um. But he did not... mean for it to hurt, so....
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